Create the Life You Want to Live

Have you heard the phrase, create the life you want to live?  If you hang around me long enough, you inevitably will hear it.  In fact, the other day, I found myself having a conversation with a good friend that I have with many of my clients.  She’s sick and tired of the stress of her three kids, all of the activities, her own health and wellness, a social life, the world news, etc.  But most importantly, she is sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. 

I asked her if this was the life she wanted to lead, her answer obviously was no. Like so many of us, she felt like there was nothing she could do, since all of these stresses seemed out of her control. What choice did she have?

So I shared with her my favorite tip – if you want something out of life, you have to “put it in there”.  For example, if you want a healthy body, you have to take the steps to eat well, exercise, and stay hydrated.  If you want better relationships with your children, you have to take the time to get to know them, to actually be with them.  If you want a better social life, you have to make plans with your friends, call them, text them.  If you want a better marriage, you have to take the time to get to know your partner’s love language and speak it.  She quickly countered with, “but I don’t have the time for all of that.”  I responded with this question - then when are you saying yes when you should have said no.  If we find ourselves without the time for the things that truly matter to us, then this question is critical.  

We truly are complicit in the conditions of our lives.  So in order to live a life we love, and to create a life we want to live, my 3 tips to start:

1. Write down a vision of how you want your life to look - now and in the future.  What do your relationships look like?  What does your career look like?  Your body? 

2. Write down your top three priorities and protect these.  Commit and protect the things that matter to you.

3. Use these to guide your decisions.  If something isn’t in line with the life you want, with your top three priorities, then just say no.  If it isn’t getting you closer to the life you want, the relationships you value, then just say a gentle, “No, thank you”.

We are participants in this big game of life. 

You are responsible for your happiness. 
In fact, you create it. 
- Creig Crippen